Alone
by Alia Kenobi
Summary: Obi-Wan is alone on a world that has just suffered a devastating plague, a plague which has destroyed many worlds. He is alone now, and must find away to go on. AU, POV
1. Default Chapter

Title: Alone (WIP)  
Author: AliaKenobi  
Category: POV, AU  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: Yes, JA- takes place when obi is 16. All events before this happen just as the JA books go.  
Summary: Obi-Wan is alone on a world that has just suffered a devastating plague, a plague which has destroyed many worlds. He is alone now, and must find away to go on. BIG AU.  
Feedback: yes, please, any and all comments are welcome.  
Disclaimer: SW belongs to George, not me. I make no money off of these ramblings.

……………………………………

**…Distance…**

Dead and Alone, distant and cold; these are the things I know now. My mind my heart, my very soul is saturated with it. I sit here alone, alone in knowledge, alone in being. The only one left. Except for them. Those that I cannot bring myself to even mention. Those things that sit around their fire laughing and singing, leaving me here alone and cold. Those things.

Long ago, not so long ago, things had been different. Back in the time before. Before this time. Back when I knew how to smile, back when I could laugh, back when my live bordered on happy. Those were the days of life, the days of the Force. Back when I had a name, back when I was Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. But that is gone now, and I am here; dead and alone, distant and cold.

There was a time when the Jedi kept the universe at peace, we would go from world to world and…. Now the Jedi are gone, most of the universe is gone. I am here now, here and now. _The irony of that._

My master, before he died, would tell me to pay more attention to the here and now. Now that is all that's left. The past is little more than a memory, and I can see no future. The future is gone for me. I am the last one.

They are looking in my direction. The ones by the fire, if they see me I am dead. I must run, but I can't. I must move, must go. Can't, stuck, cold. No, there is no can't. Do, Do, I must do. I must go. I go.

My feet feel like lead blocks as I retreat, back into the foliage. Back to some, _I struggle for a word_, safety. Then I ask, what is safe. It is not something that is left is it? A word like hope, _meaningless_. Safe, hope, peace… these words are gone. They no longer have meaning.

I stop and take a breath. Look behind me, no one follows. I continue forward. There are caves nearby. _I know this_. A storm is coming. The clouds are becoming darker and the wind has picked up, it will be a bad storm. I must hurry for shelter, but my feet are like lead. I am moving to slow.

The rain starts to fall, I here thunder and see lightening. What is lightning hits me? _A blessing._ I descend down a cliff. Careful, I reprimand myself as my foot slips. The rain is harder now. Soon. Not much farther.

I feel relieved as I reach the caves entrance. It is small, to small for a large animal. I go in. There is no light, but I am used to that now. There hasn't been light for a long time.

I sit and try to remember light. The light, the force. It is too distant. I give up. They would have said something about that. I can hear master Yoda in my head. "Give up you should not. Give up, Jedi do not" I hear my voice, a crack of distorted laughter. _There are no more Jedi. There is no more light. The Force is not with me._

**…Dream…**

I sleep. But it is bad, fitful, hurting. Memories of the past, of those first moments when the universe became cold.

I can see my master clearly he has a smile, so reassuring, as if to tell me that everything will be fine. But that doesn't last long. His skin turns to yellow and his eyes go red. He is weak now, and sick. He dies, everyone dies. I run.

I run away, away from the cities, away from the people, away from the corpse of my master. I trip and fall there is a body there. Dead, maggots have infested it. The features of what once was a young girl have become distorted, eaten away. I struggle to keep the bile from rising but I cannot stop it. I am going to be sick. I stagger away from the girl and drop to the ground.

I struggle to remain stoic, to not cry to be detached, but I can't. I cry. I stay there for a long time and try to think. _What was happening?_ But I cannot. I feel as if I am sinking, it is not something I can stop.

For a long while I stay there. Night descends and I do not move. I hear some voices nearby, two men. I struggle to hear them.

"Look here is another one." One says. I know he is talking about the girl.

"Crake, there is two." The other one says. Crake must be the first ones name, I file that away.

I hear their footsteps come closer. I am tense. "Wait," says Crake, he is standing next to me. I can't bring myself to open my eyes. "This one is still alive." the other one comes closer. "He's not sick." I can hear one of them say, I am not sure which. I hear Crake bend down and look closely at me. I feel his hand on my shoulder shaking me. I mumble a little, not quite able to form coherent words. I can feel their smiles in the force, pure joy. I open my eyes to look at them.

Crake has dark skin and strange bright green eyes that almost seem to glow in the dark. The other one has light skin and is hidden inside a lot of baggy clothes.

"What." I manage. They just look at me. I wonder for a second what they where expecting. Did they want me grateful, smiling, happy? There was a dead girl laying only a few feet away. I wasn't about to be happy about anything.

"You are the Jedi kid." The light skinned one said suddenly. I nodded. "Hey you want to come with us. Wouldn't want to be out here alone." I think for a moment. I know I don't want to go with anyone. I want to be alone. _I want to die. _I nod "Yes, I don't want to be out here by myself either." _A blatant lie. _They smile. I stand and walk with them.

They are a loud-mouthed pair. I learn that originally there had been more with them. Brax, I learned the light ones name, had a wife and two children. But they had fallen, died. Gotten sick. Crake had several friends. They where dead too. They said they had been walking for days. He was the first healthy person they had found.

I shared little beyond my name with them. They thought that strange. I thought it smart. They would die soon, or I would. There was no doubting it. Brax was turning yellow and Crake had a cough. It would not be long. This I knew. Somehow I knew also it would not be me who stopped going.

**…Fire**…

I woke up. There was a stench in the air. I was used to it. Brax and Crake lay rotting in a corner of the cave. I could hear rats chewing away at their bodies. They where making a fine meal for someone. Something. At least life still existed in some form. As distorted as that thought is.

I go to the mouth of the cave and take a deep breath. The air is much fresher out here. _It still stinks. _I can feel my stomach growl, hunger. I look around. Somehow it is a bright day, but still there is no light.

I climb down the cliff. There is a river below. I need to boil the water to drink it. I make a fire. _How strange it is, Jedi survival training. _I have no pot to boil the water in. I take some stones and throw them in the fire.

There is a stone bowl next to where I have made the fire. I had cut it out weeks ago with my lightsaber. _Back when it still worked._ I take my outer tunic off and scoop water into it. Carry it to the stone bowl. Pour it in. Carefully I get the stones out of the fire; they are hot.

Before now I would have used the force, but now I use a stick. There is no more light, no more force for me to use. _Not enough to go around. _I cycle though the rocks, dropping them into the fire, into the water, back and forth. It takes me an hour to get the water hot. Another to make sure the toxins is wiped out. I let the water cool a bit. Drink it, but not all. I take a packet out of a pouch on my belt. _Last one_. Pour it into the still warm water. The powder solidifies into a stew. I taste it. It is disgusting. I get two more stones out of the fire and throw them in. I have no eating utensils, so I resort to scooping the scoop out with my hands. I feel like some sort of animal.

I finish the meal, knowing it is the last I have. Soon I will have to do something. I can't last forever out here. Sooner or later, something will happen. _I will die_.

The fire is low. I look around. There are some logs across the river. I debate if I want to go in. this river frightens me. It is the bodies, and the dead fish, floating in it. The murkiness. No I decide to make a trek, I walk along the river's edge in search of something to burn. I have to walk for a while. Almost an hour before I reach a wooded patch.

I scrounge about, taking every piece I can carry. As I turn to leave the patch, I notice some bright colored bits. I drop the pile of wood and head toward it. There are three more bodies here. It looks like that had made some sort of camp before they all died. Two humans, a twi'lik, and a bith by the looks of them. They are mostly eaten, I could tell they where not locals.

I feel disgusted with myself as I go into their bags, pockets, and pouches. I look for anything useful, mostly food. _Maybe some batteries that I could retrofit to my 'saber_. I find a few pouches of food, some matches, and a knife. Nothing else of use. I go back to my pile of wood. Back to my fire.

…………

Please review, it is what keeps me alive.


	2. Alone 2

Note: ouch, just realized all the mistakes in the first chap. that's what happens when you don't have a beta. Oh well. They shall be fixed, when I get around to it.

…………….

**…Plague…**

I sit next to my fire, feeding it sticks. Trying to think. Figure out how it all started. How my master was dead, how this whole world was dead, every higher life form. _Except me_. Gone. That was the galaxy now.

This plague had spread. That was why he was here. The mission, to make sure the quarantine stayed put, so that the plague didn't come here. But it did. It did. And they died.

The holonet had carried coverage. How it popped up on the worlds. One then another, then another, consuming everything in its path. The sickness was fast and focused on neural pathways. That is how it managed to kill so many, not just one species, any sentient life form.

Jedi had been dispatched to uninfected worlds, to oversee quarantines. Qui-Gon and him had been sent here, Sal'na. They had stopped all traffic to Sal'na. Nothing was to come in or go out. This planet could afford that. They had the resources to isolate themselves. Still it came. Somehow it came here. Qui-Gon had been one of the first infected. He lasted a lot longer than most, but he did die.

I watched him, those last few days. I never left his side. He was the one to tell me to leave. To go far away from the city, to live. _He told me to live_. Said if I didn't he would make me do crèche duty and KP in the temple Cafeteria. I don't think he knew we where not on Coruscant.

The plague caused hallucinations. It also caused your bodies chemicals to go haywire. Effectively you where poisoned to death. It was a disgusting sight. _And horrifying_.

When he died I contacted Coruscant, the plague had just begun to hit there. I talked to Garen for the last time that day. Two days later Bant contacted me; I was still in the city then. She told me Garen had it, and killed himself. She said he jumped off the center spire. She said that she was working with others to try and find a cure, but that when she got it. She would do what Garen did. Fly.

I was never able to contact the Temple after that. Coruscant went down, all lines of communication cut.

For a while I was able to keep contact through the net, but planet after planet went dead, soon there was no more news feeds. No more signals. Sal'na to had stopped transmitting local feeds. There was no one left to run the cameras.

One of the most horrifying sights, _the one that finally made me make a run for it_, was when one of the news men set up the camera, the feed, and filmed his own death. I was transfixed by it. His last desperate attempt. His last blasé of glory.

That night I headed for the hills.

**…Night…**

The sun is lower now. I can feel the first few chills of night creeping. I shiver, and get closer to the fire. The sun hasn't set yet, but it will soon. Night is the worst; at night I can still hear them. All of them. Their voices and souls crying out.

I watch the sun lower and the sky turns into a myriad of colors. It is amazing how something so beautiful can hearken something so horrifying. The Night.

I want to make the fire larger, to keep the night away. It is like when I was little. Afraid of the dark. Thinking that monsters where going to come and eat me, or worse the sith.

The sith. I think about them a lot now. I have to wonder, if some how this is their fault. It's the only explanation for such evil. Such darkness. The sith would know how to destroy the light, destroy life. You destroy life, you destroy the living force, destroy the living force and you destroy the unifying force as well. All that is left is chaos.

Which is all that is left. I see chaos. There is no connection left. What used to flow is now jagged and abrasive. The force itself is fragmented. It still exists, just different. In a way I cant understand anymore.

That is the most painful. Worse than being cut off entirely. This fragmentation of the force, the disconnectedness of it. It is painful. Which is why I no longer try to touch the force.

The moons are up. The sun is down. I know the stars are there, but I don't see them. All I see is blackness, darkness, and cold. Beyond my little fire there is total dark. Some part of me can't help thinking something will jump out of the shadows and get me, kill me. I feel off balance. If I stand up I know I will collapse.

I sit very still and try to meditate. This used to come easier. It's hard now, to meditate. The farther my center strays the more difficult this becomes. But I don't want to sleep and I need energy. I need to try harder.

I let my mind fall to empty, normally I would let the force take over here, but I have no force now. I carefully direct my thoughts inward. I have decided to check my body for infection and sickness. Oddly it's not the plague that bothers me. I know the food and water I have gotten lately hasn't been good. I worry about scurvy.

I check my body's functions. This is hard without using the force. I notice the malnutrition. I am prepared for that. Also there is some swelling in my right ankle. That I also expect. I fell a couple days ago, almost twisted it. I make note of the to irregularities. I can't do much about the malnutrition at the moment so I focus on the swelling in my ankle. I don't expect to do much. I know that without the force, my ability to heal myself is limited to my body's natural defenses. I can produce more white blood cells and chemicals that will help relieve pain. But the healing ability that comes from using the force is absent.

**…Decision…**

I stay in the trance for hours. I am latently aware that the fire is little more than embers and that the sun has near risen. I open my eyes, blink, blink again.

I take the last few branches I have left and make an effort to revive the fire. I need to boil more water now. I need to keep myself hydrated. The fire revives and I am relieved. I don't want to use the matches. They are valuable, as is the food. I wont eat this morning.

I get the fire going strong. Throw stones in it. I walk over to the river. I get my outer tunic ready. Prepare to scoop out water. A body is floating; this one is a little girl. She cannot be older than 5. Strangely she is not puffed up and saturated with water yet, this means she only came into the water recently. She might still have been alive yesterday. But I doubt it.

There is a rock up ahead of her. I can already tell that she will become caught on it, and I will have to spend hours staring at her nearly angelic face.

I don't want to get water now. I do anyway. Pour it into the stone bowl. Boil it with the rocks. I let it go longer this time. Half of it steams away. I let it cool. Then I drink it. Today it tastes worse than usual.

I know it is the little girl; she is making the water this way. She is making me guilty. Just there, up ahead on that rock. She makes me know. I should not be here; I should be dead like her. _One with the Force_. I feel guilty because of her.

For a long time I sit and watch her, she has yet to break free of that rock. I wonder if she ever will. I cannot stay here.

I feel a little bit of me die, every moment. This girl is killing me. I want to scream, cry, do something, anything. But I can't, I can't move. I can't tear my eyes away. _Again with the can'ts_. _Shut up, shut up_. "SHUT UP!" I scream.

I scream, I scream, I scream. I am loosening it. I am going crazy. _Jedi don't go crazy_. Yes, I am. I am losing it. What is there left? I scream again. I scream like some sort of animal, wordless noises with little meaning.

I need to get out of here before it's too late. _It is already too late_. That is it; I will go to the spaceport. There ought to be a ship there. I can get away from here. Away before it is too late. The smell here is killing me and that little girl is in on it.

If I go somewhere else, maybe I can feel light again.

……….

Remember feedback keeps me going. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

QUIET

I am standing here wanting for mourning. But, I cannot, I don't feel. Is this what Jedi stoicism is? But it is so uneasy. This quiet, this non-feeling. It is so wrong, So cold, So heartless. This is not what I have strived for, for so long. _yes it is_. This quiet, inside. I feel so impartial, or maybe I don't. even my fingers feel numb, my entire being is numb.

I am standing here waiting for morning. Where is the sun? it seems to have been dark for way to long. I almost have to wonder if this planet is now as dead as its inhabitants. Perhaps the sun wont come up today. Perhaps, I can just stay here and wait for the morning that will never come. If daylight has ceased than I don't have to go. I can just stay. _ Staying is not an option. _

There is the sun. I see it now, in its orangeish hue rising in the west. I have to go now. I have to go into the city. I need to find the spaceport. It is north. I must go north. I need to go north. _I'm not moving._ I stand up, try to take a step forward. _Nothing._

Looking into the dimly lit sky I try to take a step, but my feet won't budge. It is as if my boots have been glued down to this soil. Don't they know I need to go, get away from here and everything. Find someplace where the people are not dead.

I need to be with the living. It isn't as if I have ever been strong with the living force, and here were there is none at all. Where the force is so fractured that I cannot take a step forward to save myself from this madness. This quiet madness. This deafening sense of insanity.

I sit back down and not-cry. I want to, but I cant. I tears wont leave my eyes. The same way my feet wont leave the ground. "PLEASE" I say quietly, no more than a whisper, almost a wordless cry. I just need something, anything.

I close my eyes and stand back up. Take one foot lift it off the ground. Step. I am careful to monitor my breathing. In out, take a step. I keep my eyes closed. I take another step. Slowly I move forward. Extending my fractured senses to look at the world around me. _ And keep my eyes closed. _ I can do this. I keep moving. I keep my eyes sealed shut. Step step. It is slow movement, but I am going, am moving, am walking.

I stop. The air is funny, the stench horrendous. I open my eyes. _Close them, you don't need to look, stop. _ I look. Bodies, hundreds of bodies. All piled on top of each other, half rotten with the sun. I try not to look, the masses of people, young and old. All dead.

I try to breath, but all that fills my lungs is the stench. The air is so thick with it. It sickens me, my entire body reacting until the last vestiges of food are emptied from my stomach.

I need to go, away from this place. I run. I run fast. I run until all of my energy is gone. I run. Then I stop. I look around me and have no clue where I am.

YEARNING

Sitting down on a large bolder I try to think. Try to triangulate my position. But I am lost. I haven't looked anywhere but forward for hours. And around me is nothing but trees. There are no markers, no nothing just trees. Lots and lots of trees.

There is nothing here, and only death elsewhere. This is better than that. Isn't it, better than the mass graves. These trees are not dead, they are alive, still somehow connected to the living force in ways that I can not. It is a sad moment when you envy a tree. But right now I have to.

I have to deal with all these cold thoughts. All the nightmares of what has just gone to past. But they, those trees, don't have to worry about anything. They just are. There is no doubt, no question about the purpose of their existence. They just are. It is that simplicity.

I want that, simplicity. I have too many thoughts to deal with. Too much going on in my head. Even now, where all I feel in the way of the force is splinters and emptiness, I want the easy mindlessness of a tree. But, I'm not a tree, and I cannot be like a tree, I know this. I am a Jedi, perhaps the last Jedi.

Still I yearn to be a tree, simple simplicity. No brain, no decision, just being. isn't that enough? _no._ Sighing I try to think about my predicament, I am lost. I have no concept of where my destination, there is only these trees and those bodies.

looking in the direction I came from I shake my head. I wont go that way. Better to die here than to go that way. _but I can't die, death is not an option. There is no death._ I silence my self, try to stop all thought. I will sleep here tonight.

EYES

I lay my head down on a pile of leaves, pull my cloak over me, and let myself drift off. At least here is peace. In sleep all you have is dreams and in dreams you can have anything. My master can be alive, Coruscant could still be reachable. Everything can be normal. Then again, in sleep there are nightmares, however I doubt my worst nightmare could even compare to this reality. Nothing could be worse.

_There is water. Blue and fresh. The waves are calming serene. As far as I can see is this great vision of serenity. My heart almost seems to jump a beat, I feel warm, cozy inside. As if this great happiness has engulfed me. My spirit, heart and soul is calm. My mind still, I can feel that great joy that is the force deep inside me. I feel connected to this ocean, to the water, the sky, and the creatures inhabiting its depths. All is whole, all is great. The Force is strong, I am strong. This is my place, my world, my happiness._

Slowly I walk down the beach a great feeling of contentment filling my pores. It is almost as if I am floating, yet at the same time I can feel the warm wet sand between my toes. A smile quarks on my lips. This is nice. This is calm. This is peace.

I turn, look at the land. This is different. The feeling of contentment seems to leave me. I don't know why this seems odd to me. Looking around I try to find it, the some thing there that is watching me. The coldness that is watching me. Looking I see nothing. I can only feel the feeling. The cold dark feeling of reality.

I wake with a straining scream. Looking around I still have the feeling of being watched. It is as if two eyes are watching me. Looking at me, jugging me. Trying to find a method of attack. But, I see nothing. There is only a feeling, a strange cold spot that seems to be watching me. 

I stand up and the cold spot seems to stand with me. _You're losing it._ Closing my eyes, I reach out with my senses and try to locate this spot. This thing watching me. All I sense is blank nothingness, but still at the same time this cold, empty thing seems to be of flesh and blood breathing cold breath.

"hello?" I say, my own voice sounding a bit strange to me. "Hello" I repeat a few minutes later. I am not even sure why. This this, creature, person, spirit frightens me, And here I am calling to it. "Hello?" I say a third time a little bit loader. Perhaps its best I don't say anything. That I just keep my mouth shut and say nothing.

Then again, right now id welcome a Sith lord, just so I would have someone to talk to. "guess you are not going to answer me. that's alright, its always good to talk to some one else. Saves me from talking to myself." I know I sound dumb. I know that this shadow of cold should not be something I want to talk to but I feel so alone. Any company is good, even if it is my shadow.

"alright" I say, "well I'm going back to sleep. Night." I close my eyes again. I don't feel sleepy, but somehow, even if the cold being wanted me dead. I don't think I really would mind. I don't think I would fight or try to stop it. I would die, be one with whatever force that was left in this galaxy. At least then I would have some sense of peace.

Slowly I breath. Counting to 10 with each breath. Allowing sleep to take over me, just as my master taught me. Master, now there is a thought. Force I miss him. He was everything to me. Such a great teacher, and an even greater man. An asset to the order, one of the greatest Jedi ever to live. I smile a little bit just as I finally drift into nothingness.

AWAKE

I wake sometime after the sun has risen. The warm rays of light as they pass through the leaves warm my skin. For just a moment I am able to imagine that everything is right is this world. That the people a living, that the children are playing. I am able to imagine my master and I walking down one of the long temple corridors talking about how close a call this plague really was. How it had overturned a handful of worlds on the outer rim, but thanks to our efforts and those of other Jedi we where able to save the galaxy from such destruction.

Sadly this half dream is quickly shattered and I am thrust right back into this physical nightmare. The nightmare of my reality, of the death, the turmoil and this fractured existence. Why did I have to be the one who lived. The one not to get sick. The one who had to watch and entire planet die right before his eyes and not be able to say or do anything to change it. I was helpless. _you still are. _ I was unable to do anything to help those people. I couldn't even relieve their pain. I had to watch my own master die before me. I had to watch everyone die before me.

Sighing I decide to stop brooding. It is getting me nowhere fast. I need to find that spaceport. I need to be rational. Be a Jedi, I can do this. It's just, I don't really want to either. I don't think I really can. But I must, I must move forward. Must do what I can.

I start to walk, not fast not slow making only the decision to keep going. To not turn around, to not run away despite what I encounter. I am determined. For the first time in days I am awake. My eyes are open. I am Obi-wan Kenobi, I can do this.

So I walk. I move forward, And despite the fact I feel the cold dark eyes watching me still, following me still. I am fine. I am not good, or bad, just fine. That is enough.


	4. Chapter 4

--horizon--

I look forward at the horizon. I can now see the distorted shapes of buildings there. I try not to shiver, to keep the odd chill off my back, but it still passes though me. It such a feeling of trepidation. I have never felt so apprehensive about anything in my life. And all it is, is the horizon. The knowledge that there at the horizon there are buildings, and there is no one in them. _No one alive. _

I sigh discontentedly unwilling to let myself feel the relief that soon I may be off this world. Soon I may have a chance. Six hours, that is all I need. That is the distance between here and there. I walk. Letting my feet hit the ground in a relaxed pace. There is no need to hurry. No need for my feet to move any faster.

Calm and slow is good. I let my breathing follow the pace of my feet. I let my arms swing at my sides. I can almost see myself whistling a happy tune. And this brings a smile to my face. My heart feels just a little bit lighter, better than it has since my master died.

I smile a little bit wider as I think about the past, about all the good times and even some of the bad. Strangely they do not bring tears to my eyes. Maybe I am starting to heal. Maybe as the sent of death fades the memories that bring such pain fade too.

But I don't want to heal. I don't want to feel better. I don't want to live. I don't want to look forward towards the future. I just wish… no sense wishing. _Just stop thinking about it Kenobi._ I laugh at myself. Yep I have defiantly gone crazy. I smile at how ironic it all is.

Then again. It isn't in the slightest bit ironic. For irony means that there is humor in it. And there is nothing humorous about my situation. No, nothing to laugh at today. Just a half smile. A thought of a memory. I chuckle quietly to myself. _why is it so funny._

Shaking my head I pull myself out of my thoughts. I need to get moving. The spaceport is not too far off and I want to be there before sunset. Sighing I break into a medium paced jog.

---Spaceport---

The air stinks. It is my only thought as I get closer and closer to the port city. Taking a deep breath I take my first step into the city limits. There is a strange electric current flowing down my spine. It makes me gasp. My entire body convulsing with the current of this energy. But I do not know what it is. _yes I know what it is, it is the force, strong and still alive. _ I raise an eyebrow as it subsides into a mild current. Strangely it is comforting.

I wiggle my noise wishing that I wasn't capable of smelling. There is something to be had of the species without noses. Than again, there probably isn't any sentients left without noses. Just me, Alone here in this dead city. On this dead world. _Dead galaxy._

I need to get out of here.

I walk down the street. The roads are empty, for this I am glad. Empty streets grant me some serenity, at least this way I don't have to look at any of the bodies that I know are there. I don't have to see them. I can just let them disappear form my mind. I can just be.

My feet hit the pavement with a sort of clunk clunk sound. The rhythm is soothing, calming, relaxing. I stop looking at the sign just to the right of me. There is a grocery store there. My stomach grumbles at the thought of food. It has been over a day since I last ate. I should go in there. Find something.

I walk up to the entrance, stepping over the broken glass that had at one point made up the front window. This place had been ransacked badly, but I know that there is still supplies in there that can be useful to me. The violence that broke out when the plague got bad enough was merely violence. There wasn't much point to it. They would smash in windows tear things apart but in all reality they wouldn't do anything. Just damage everything they could. There was so much anger then. Everyone, the healthy and the sick, where angry.

The riots where just the expression of the anger. No one wanted to be sad, no one had time to be. _except me, I was sad. I was heart broken. _ They where all dieing. There wasn't any point in trying to preserve the world. All they wanted was to destroy. I wish I could have had that feeling.

I just sat there next to Qui-Gon feeling sad for myself. Having a pity party. Qui-Gon's breath just got fainter and fainter and I sat there feeling sad for myself. Because I was loosing my Master, the life that I had worked so hard to have. The life that I had come so close to loosing so many times. Well its gone now. _Everything is gone._

Frustrated I kick at a pile of cans laying on the floor. Tripping and falling to the ground as I try to kick a second can. "Mrufh." I cry out wordlessly as I grab one of the cans and throw it at a nearby display. The crash seems to satisfy me. I feel angry, not sad, not depressed, but angry.

Smiling I laugh almost hysterically. Strangely it is funny to me. I just continue to laugh as I lay down on the cold floor. This is funny. This is so sad and pathetic that it has reached the point of being funny. I go on for some time like this.

Soon my stomach is growling again and I am reminded of why I came in there in the first place. Getting up I dust myself off. "Well," I say to myself. "Time to go shopping."

Grabbing a cart I walk down the aisles. humming quietly to myself as I grab anything that is still good and doesn't require and actual preparation. Soon the cart if half filled with food stuff. I also throw in a couple jugs of juice. Feeling content with my choices I exit the store. Pushing the cart in front of me.

As I walk down the street I notice many stores. Many had been vandalized during the riots. Some of Street was entirely destroyed by fire. The destruction doesn't bother me much. It isn't as if I haven't seen building destroyed before. They are just building they don't mean much at all. Not to me anyway.

I find myself passing a sporting goods store and stop. Looking inside through the window I notice some blankets and a small portable stove sitting on a shelf. Giving a half lopsided smile. I walk up to the door. Oddly it is locked. Frowning I tap on the glass seeing how think it might be. It isn't thick at all.

I only wonder for an instant why this store hasn't been broken into, but soon that wonder fades as I look for something to smash the glass with. Up the street a ways I notice a crashed landspeeder. Around it there is plenty of debris.

Running up to the landspeeder I grab one of the small boulders that has fallen from the building the 'speeder crashed into. I regret not using the cart to haul the heavy rock back, but as I throw the rock into the glass and listed to the load crash, I feel strangely satisfied. _How many chances do Jedi get to smash in windows._

The final bits of glass fall from the window as I make my way within. Quickly I grab two of the blankets and one of the portable cook tops , along with some fuel for the cook top. I exit out and place them in my cart, returning into the store.

The deeper I go into the store the more uneasy I feel. I feel those eyes on me again. That darkness that was following me before is near. I shiver. I need to get out of here. Turning, I start to exit the store.

Movement

In the corner of my eye I see movement, a few items on a shelf shaking. Turning my head I see the object shake again. "Hello?" I ask " anyone there?" there is some shuffling. More sound, more objects shaking. "hello?" I ask again, as I feel the little hairs on my arm rise. I turn back into the store, following the direction of the shaking objects. "Anyone there?" I ask again, silently wishing that I had just left the store, that I hadn't noticed the movement in the corner of my eye, that I could just leave this cold place behind.

Ok, one more call, then ill just check it out, there wont be anything there. Then I can just leave, no harm no fowl, right? Right. _no not right, wrong. You know, Kenobi you know there is something there._ Right. "Hello? come on if you are there. Make yourself known."

I take a few steps forward, deeper into the store. Shivering I feel the cold sickness return to me. I turn expecting something to be there. Expecting to see the cold dark monster that must be following me. But there is only air. Cold Air. I take a step back. And stop.

This isn't right. I am a Jedi, fear is not an issue. I can deal with fear. Come On Kenobi, The force is on your side. _not today, not since…_ release your fear. Release the fear. Nodding, I take a breath in. "I release my fear!" I shout out, letting all the tension in my body dissipate into nothingness until all I feel is nothingness.

At least nothing is safe. Light and dark carry emotions, nothing, carries nothing. When you can't be somewhere else. At least nothing will let you continue on with your day. It may be a thin line to walk. Nothing, its so close to the dark, sitting right next to it. The border between good and bad. As long as I do not step over the line I am safe.

Closing my eyes I continue to where I saw the movement. Once I reach the aisle I open my eyes. There is nothing there, no one. Just boxes of food. Looking around I notice, the door at the back is swung out. Someone is here!

I run, and make my way to the door. Opening it further until I can pass my body threw it.

There, standing right in the middle of the back parking lot is a young boy. And he is staring back at me.

"Who are you?" I ask.


End file.
